True love vs. romance
by Holy Host
Although, it might be said that all love has romance, I assure you all romance does not have love.
Every year in the United States, and beyond, as February 14th, Valentine’s Day, approaches people’s minds turn to all things love and romance.
But don’t be confused as they are not synonymous.
Romance can be defined as an intense, often short-lived attraction, fascination, or enthusiasm for something or someone.
Usually, this romantic attraction is based on some outside quality that is mysterious or fascinating, like something that appears adventurous, heroic, or unusually beautiful.
This type of Romance is temporary and rooted in fantasy mostly, never growing past the level of infatuation.
If real love was only romance, relationships would never really have a chance, they would be cursed to remain superficial at best.
Your love has to be more than a greeting card’s sappy notions. Your love has to be more than a feeling…and your love has to be even more than just an action.
Scripture says love is more than just a feeling or an action…it is a lifetime of actions…It is complete unselfishness toward another.
In one word, love is – sacrifice.
Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.
This verse certainly means that being willing to give one’s life for another is at the height of unselfish love and sacrifice but God also says that you can and should be a living sacrifice.
Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.
True love thinks about everyone but itself. True love isn’t selfish, ridged, and locked in its own ways. True love is adaptable and ready, willing and able to adjust to the needs of others.
Many times in scripture it refers to someone who can’t receive God’s love as someone who has hardened their heart.
You’ve probably seen it in your life as well when someone is so ridged, so hardened, so focused on themselves…they cannot truly love someone else.
Maybe you’re the one who falls into this category?
So, ask yourself, do you look for the needs of others or are you constantly thinking about yourself?
Selfishness is one of the most destructive concoctions of the enemy. Like a horse with blinders on, selfishness can make you oblivious to anything that isn’t just right in front of you or only about you.
When people are looking for mates, often they are only looking for what they will get from the other person and not what they can give the other person.
Fantasies run wild with thoughts of a partner who will follow YOU everywhere doing everything YOU want to do, listening to everything YOU say, enjoying everything YOU enjoy.
A true relationship isn’t looking for a passenger in your life but a partner in the adventure.
I am not asking you to be a “welcome mat” only to be walked on by others.
it’s about seeking to take care of someone else’s needs trusting they will take care of yours. That is partnership.
A great match is finding someone who will be selflessly looking out only for you, as you too are selflessly looking out only for them. You’ve got their back, and they’ve got yours.
Even people who are dedicated and hard working can struggle in relationships and love. But remind yourself each day that it is about your partner and your love will only grow.
Paul says in Romans 13:10
10 Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
This means that there are rules to abide by in love, not just romance.
You mustn’t think of love as just that emotional, romantic response you feel toward someone.
How sad when the incredible depth of true love is reduced to the shallow feeling of sweaty palms or your heart feeling as if it skipped a beat. I know much of that can be wonderful to feel but only when it is birthed from real love.
Love comes from fulfilling the rules and laws in a relationship. It’s about connecting in a practical way and finding things to do for each other.
You will get lost if you only look for the liver quiver and the warm fuzzy feeling. But when you get back to taking care of the practical needs of a healthy relationship, the emotions certainly will follow.
Scripture is God’s love letter to mankind, the most amazing Valentine card ever written and in its pages is the description of the ultimate act of love and sacrifice and also, Gods blueprints for true love and true romance.
And although, if you’ve ever been to a Christian wedding, you’ve probably hear these words before, please hear them today with fresh ears and take them to heart in a new way.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 & verse 13
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
So what is your love made of, surface romance or real romance rooted in unselfish sacrifice? Is it about all you want to get from someone else, or all you want to give?
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